


In Which Feathers Grow

by jamdraws (tav1sh)



Series: Foxes to Feathers [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: ESPECIALLY a lot of stuff about the kwami and how they came to be, F/F, side pairings of djwifi and adrinath, we also boutta get some SERIOUS WORLDBUILDING, yall we boutta get some NEW SUPERHEROES UP IN DIS FIC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:25:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8460082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tav1sh/pseuds/jamdraws
Summary: With voices inside of her and and an increase in akuma attacks, Lila struggles to understand herself, miraculous holders, and the world of the kwami. But with every step she takes in uncovering the secrets of the miraculouses, it becomes clear that there is a larger and darker force that threatens everything she has ever come to know.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (hollering noiseS) back at it again with the lilanette  
> this fic will be less lilanette centric and more lila-centric and plot-centric. gonna have a crap load of angst i think. maybe. well see. i only planned out the basic concept, this is still gonna be half-yolo. as always, dont trust me to update regularly, i go to college and stuff and have hw. ill try my best to update but i wont make any promises anymore cuz i will fail to fulfill them.

PROLOGUE

My name is Lila.

People say that I am a liar. A snob. A fox. They say that I’m annoying, that I’m selfish, that I’m stupid. 

But I am not.

I am strong. I am smart. I have changed. I have grown, and I will continue to grow.

I will continue to grow until I have sprouted feathers and and taken to the skies and transformed completely into something new and different. Someone who can value the truth. Someone who can trust and be trusted. Someone that others will be glad to have met.

I will be something incredible.

 

CHAPTER 1

It was warm and cozy, and Lila didn’t want to get up.

“It’s late, Lila,” An amused voice said gently, but Lila kept her eyes shut, content to stay in the bed of pillows and blankets.

Lila heard a sigh, and she smiled a little bit.

“I know you’re awake,” The voice said teasingly, and Lila slowly opened her eyes in resignation. Her grandma looked down at her fondly, her laugh lines and crow’s feet deepening in her smile.

“ _ Buona mattina, _ ” Lila murmured contentedly, and Silvia chuckled.

“ _ Buona mattina _ . Breakfast is ready down in the kitchen,” She said, standing back up from her bent position, “I hope you’ll like it,” 

At that, Lila sat up immediately, hands brushing hair back from her face.

“It’s not going anywhere,” Silvia laughed, hands going to her hips, “Take your time, and I’ll meet you there,” 

Lila watched as her  _ nonna  _ walked off, wrapped in a fluffy house robe, and then she swung her legs off of the bed and got up, a sense of tranquility in her body. She liked this colorful apartment more than any place she’d had to live in.

And Silvia would  _ be  _ in the apartment almost all of the time. No longer were the days when she returned from school to an empty place, where she pushed a frozen meal into the microwave or toasted some bread. She’d never been poor, but she’d never had anyone cook filling meals for her. Her parents would normally eat out during work. They would buy groceries, sure, and occasionally eat at home every once in awhile, but usually Lila would throw something simple together or eat school lunches. 

It’s not that her parents were bad people, but Lila knew that the jobs they had and the lives they lived, they couldn’t spend much time with Lila. After they parted ways, they mainly communicated through e-mail or phonecalls, and it was far easier and more comfortable to do it that way. With her parents no longer fighting or worrying about Lila’s opinion on traveling with them, conversations were calmer and happier. When she had stood up to them, though, there had been much emotion. Apologies and arguments and discussions over it all, but once it was over, everyone was better for it.

Although, even if Silvia did make meals for Lila, they weren’t always that good. It was kind of charming and humbling that her grandma had that flaw. Talking and laughing together with her over burnt toast slathered in jam was far better than any meal she’d had before.

Lila stepped into the cozy bunny slippers at her bed and wrapped a house robe like Silvia’s around herself (although hers was pink while Silvia’s was mint green), and headed to the kitchen. The walls were cream and modern canvases decorated the hall, each featuring geometric patterns and bright colors. Her feet padded on dark wooden planks until she reached the kitchen, where the wood gave way to white tiles.

Silvia was sitting at small table in the corner of the kitchen, and she gestured Lila over. 

For a second, Lila was back in Italy. 

She was young and wild and she was seated across her parents in a restaurant. Her hands were wrapped around a warm mug of hot chocolate covered in cream, washing down cookies and  _ fette biscottate _ and rolls of bread. Her parents, for once able to eat together with her, had steaming cups of coffee with milk and cream that they sipped between bites of fresh bread. The restaurant was filled with busy chatter and clinking cutlery and the scent of coffee.

Silvia had set out a plate full of rolls and next to a jar of jam. Two cups were placed on opposite sides of the table, one steaming and one empty. But next to Lila’s empty cup was a coffee pot, milk, juice and even a bottle of chocolate syrup.

“I figured you might want to choose what you wanted for your drink,” Silvia explained, and Lila shuffled forward, almost embarrassed by how happy she was. Even the smallest things that Silvia did for her overflowed with thoughtfulness and affection, and it was so heartwarming to be feel so loved.

“Thank you,” Lila took a seat across from Silvia and opted for hot chocolate, just like she used to drink in the past. 

“This is one of the only things I can actually make,” Silvia confessed, pouring a generous amount of chocolate syrup into the cup before getting up to heat some milk, “That, and tea and coffee. Everything else is almost a disaster.”

Lila got up again despite having just sat and wandered over to Silvia. It felt wrong to do nothing while her grandma made her a drink.

“I’m sure it’s not totally a disaster,” Lila said, pulling out the whipped cream as Silvia poured some milk into a pot. 

“You’d be surprised,” Silvia returned, twisting the stove dial.

“Well, I’m not too good, either,” Lila replied, thinking back to her mediocre meals and microwave dinners, “Maybe we should combine our powers,”

“You know,” Silvia said, standing back and giving Lila a thoughtful look, “I think we should. We can learn how to cook together!” Lila blinked, and then her mouth stretched into a big grin.

“That’s an awesome idea!” She agreed. Stumbling over recipes and baking cakes or things like that with her grandma… it honestly sounded like something she really wanted. It was such a small thing, and yet it was just that appealing to Lila.

When the hot chocolate was done, the two sat down to have their breakfast.

“What kinds of things should we make?” Lila asked, hands warmed by the hot mug. She’d given herself a generous amount of whipped cream, and poured some extra syrup on top that. 

“I’d say we could try just about anything,” Silvia said, dipping a knife into the strawberry jam jar, “even desserts.”

Desserts! That sounded honestly amazing. 

“Even entire cakes?” Lila asked in excitement.

“ _ Especially  _ entire cakes,” Silvia nodded in satisfaction, eyes crinkled in amusement, “In fact, I’d say we should go grocery shopping today in preparation.” 

“Today? What kind of cake are we going to make?” Lila asked, although she would probably be happy with any answer.

“Well, what’s your favorite kind of cake?” 

Lila fell silent for a moment, thinking.

“I think tiramisu might be a bit too difficult,” She finally said, “What about a strawberry shortcake?” Lila suggested. 

“I  _ love  _ strawberry shortcake!” Silvia gushed, “Let’s find a recipe after we finish eating.”

Every summer morning had been a happy one, this one included. 

It was just-

_ Disgusting _ .

Lila paid the voice no heed.

_ You’re disgusting _ .

She shook her head slightly, as if to clear up her thoughts.

“This hot chocolate is really good,” She said between sips, savoring the the sweet and thick drink.

“Thank you,” Silvia said, “It’s one of the only edible things I can take pride in,”

At that, Lila laughed a little bit. 

“Are you seeing Marinette today?” Silvia then asked, giving Lila a knowing glance. 

“I don’t know. I was actually thinking about maybe getting a haircut first,” Lila shrugged, “It’s really hot right now, and having all this hair isn’t really helping,”

“Oh! Have you ever cut your hair before?” Silvia inquired curiously. It was a reasonable question, because Lila’s hair was extremely long. 

“Other than my bangs, no. I think it’s finally time for a change. I’m finally going to be staying put in a country, after all. It’s a new me,” Lila said cheerfully, running a hand through her disheveled hair. 

A new me…

It sounded so wonderful.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Silvia nodded, wiping her mouth with a napkin, “I can take you to a nice place. I got my hair cut recently after coming to Paris, too.”

“Really? Thank you so much!” 

“It’s no big deal,” Silvia said.

There it was again. The affection. The love.

Lila looked down and smiled.

“I really appreciate it,  _ Nonna _ .” 

“Of course, Lila,” Silvia gave Lila another warm smile, “We can go whenever,”

“We can go grocery shopping right after that!” Lila suddenly realized, “I’ll find an easy recipe for the cake.” She decided, pulling out her phone. 

“Yes!” Silvia stood up from the table, excitement glowing in her eyes. “Maybe we could even invite Marinette so she can make sure we don’t burn the apartment down! Since she’s from a family of bakers, you know.”

“You always have the best ideas,  _ Nonna _ ,” Lila said fondly, and got up to give Silvia a quick hug. 

“I try,” Silvia agreed as returned the embrace. It was warm and gentle and everything Lila ever wanted.

“I’ll go get ready, then, and find the recipe.” Lila helped clean up the remains of breakfast, and then headed back to her room to shower and get dressed. She’d recently adopted a new set of colors to wear. Gone were the days of orange and black. Now she freely wore green clothes that matched the pale hue of her eyes. Her closet was full of new colors that she felt helped represent her change from before. She’d wear dark blue and deep purple as well as pinks and lilacs. She’d wear polka dots that matched Marinette’s dotted outfits, and she’d try stripes and floral patterns. 

She was a new Lila, after all.

Lila pulled out an outfit she’d bought recently (with Marinette, no less). Her loose emerald green top would be tucked slightly into a pair of white jeans, and she set out a pair of black flats. With the clothes ready, she ducked into the bathroom.

Lila stopped as she passed the mirror, glancing at her messy reflection.

_ Ugly _ .

She thought her hair had found creative new ways to tangle in her sleep, and some of her bangs stuck out at the sides. But overall, with her happier and healthier life, she felt her skin seemed a bit clearer and the bags under her eyes a bit lighter.

She felt like she was just fine.

_ What a joke _ .

Lila undressed and stepped into the shower, twisting the knob to warm while nimbly dodging the cold spray that the showerhead let loose. Eventually it turned from cool to room temperature, to a comfortable heat that Lila liked.

Every morning had become a pleasant experience. She’d fallen into a routine that felt nice and comforting. Waking up to warm sunlight streaming through her window to having a fun breakfast with Silvia. Showering and washing her hair to spending time with her friends or her grandmother. 

She’d become someone who didn’t need to wear a mask, anymore. She didn’t need fake stories to make friends or be appreciated. She didn’t need to be cool and popular to get attention. She had her friends and she had her grandma. 

She had Marinette. 

_ Do you, though? _

She’d become happier overall. She’d gotten a better life.

So why was there always a thought saying the complete opposite?

_ I’m saying the truth, is all. Stupid. _

Lila’s mouth thinned as she worked shampoo through her wet hair.

She could ignore it. She had been already, for several weeks. Maybe it was a hormonal thing.

_ You wish _ .


	2. Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :O

Marinette woke up disoriented, a little sleep-deprived, and wishing she hadn’t woken up at all. She’d been kept up late by an unexpected akuma attack that left her fighting in the dark of the night, and it had taken a lot out of her. The moment she’d returned to her house she’d dropped into her bed and was asleep immediately.

“Good morning,” Someone said as Marinette looked around sleepily for her phone, and she realized it was Tikki.

“Good morning, Tikki,” She returned as her fingers closed around her phone. Marinette squinted tiredly at the screen, finding it to be nearly eleven in the morning. Well, at least she slept enough.

Just then, a notification popped up.

_ Lila <3: [image file] just got a haircut :D _

Marinette sat up immediately, inputting her password as fast as her tired fingers allowed. The thumbnail that the notification showed wasn’t big enough, and she couldn’t see Lila’s new look very well. But she quickly made it to the texting app and put the picture full screen.

Marinette stared.

Lila’s thigh-length hair had gone, and now her hair only reached a little bit past her chin. She’d moved the hair ties on the locks framing her face a little bit higher, maybe around eye level. The result was a short but fluffy hairstyle that looked pretty much… amazing. Her cut fluffed out around her cheeks, and it made her hair seem light and cloud-like.

Marinette bit her lip as she brought the screen closer to her face, almost mesmerized by the photo.

“Woah there,” Tikki laughed, “you look like you’ve seen the best thing in your life,”

Marinette blinked.

“I think I did,” She said, eyes wide as she saved the photo.

“Oh my!” Tikki exclaimed and Marinette realized what she’d said and turned a little red. But after a few months of actively dating Lila, she’d said plenty of other similar things and endured Tikki’s lighthearted teasing many times.

“It’s true!” She protested, moving to type a reply.

“Well, she  _ is  _ very cute like that,” Tikki agreed, floating a little closer. 

_ Mari: (thumbs up emoji) i didnt think u could get cuter but u proved me wrong (three thumbs up emojis) _

“Aren’t you forward?” Tikki giggled, peering over at the screen.

Marinette smiled, laying the phone down on her bed so she could actually get up.

“I am, aren’t I?” She stretched her arms out, relishing in the comfortable pop of her spine.

“Well, you’re certainly more forward than before,” Tikki corrected. With Marinette’s relationship with Lila and the struggles she’d gone through, she had changed. 

Marinette nodded her agreement as she walked to her closet. But before she could open the door, she heard her phone vibrate and she went back to pick it up.

_ Lila <3: i try ;). u wanna meet up today? _

Marinette smiled as she went back to the closet, phone in hand.

_ Mari: definitely! we should go out for lunch. maybe u can sleepover here after ^_^ _

Although the two of them had definitely gone on several dates and hung with their friends, they hadn’t had another sleepover since the first time. 

That had been a good time. 

Marinette pulled some clothes off their hangers, putting together a simple outfit that consisted of pants rolled up to her calves, sandals, and a loose white tank top. In the summer, she’d had more free time to actually make some more clothes, and she’d tried out tons of new patterns. So her closet was even fuller than before.

_ Lila <3: yess!! Id love to! _

Marinette smiled before setting her phone down so she could go shower and change. But as always, her mind just ran circles once she was underneath the hot water. Memories and ideas floated by, twisting together.

_ “Lila’s the only person who has been akumatized three times,” Marinette said, brows drawn in worry as she bit her lip, “Are you sure there aren’t any side effects to that?” _

_ Tikki smiled reassuringly. _

_ “She’s a fairly strong girl, Marinette. It’s been a few days already, and she seems normal. I don’t think anything is wrong,” she answered, but it didn’t really do anything for Marinette. _

_ “If it still worries you, I’ll try to keep an eye on her whenever she’s with us. If something really is wrong, then I’ll sense it,” The kwami offered, and Marinette nodded. _

_ That actually was reassuring. _

Despite how long ago that conversation had happened, it kept hovering at the edge of her thoughts.

There probably was nothing to worry about.

But still.

Marinette heaved a sigh, and washed her hair.

***

It… was more frequent. Lila looked down at her hands as she waited in the park. It was true that she felt better than she ever had before. She felt stronger and more confident and more at peace with herself. 

It was just that one small voice. Was it a leftover of herself from before? Back when she’d always lie and wear a mask?

Maybe… but it was different. The voice seemed like it wasn’t her own, and it was more fleeting. It’d come and go and whisper and vanish. It had an indifferent tone to its voice, as if it was merely stating facts rather than trying to convince Lila of falsities. 

It had been there since a little bit after Game Over’s defeat. Was it from being infected by akuma so many times? Maybe, but nothing had happened after her second infection. Furthermore, she had  _ seen  _ Ladybug purify the butterfly.

It could just be hormones and feelings being wild during teenage years, anyway. In the end, it was kind of harmless because Lila knew she was better than what it said, and a lot of times it was easily ignored. The only change was that it came more often than before, and even then Lila was capable of giving it no attention. 

_ “Not for for much longer, however.”  _ A breath touched her ear and Lila leaped from the bench, heart pumping as she looked around for who had whispered at her side. Her hand flew to her ear, bewildered as she turned around.

But no one was there. 

_ That  _ was new. The same voice had moved from inside her head to right next to her, if only for a moment. 

Lila shook her head, clearing up her thoughts, and moved to another bench. Time had already passed, and the experience seemed to have been imagined all along. Seconds melted into minutes, and Lila’s breathing had returned to normal. Her hand fell from her ear and she glanced around anxiously, but nothing was out of the ordinary.

Everything was normal, and she was fine. 

Lila hugged her bag close to her chest and rested her chin on it, hunching over as she thought.

Suddenly Lila realized a something touched her shoulders. 

“Hey Li-”

When the breath hit her ear, Lila was on her feet immediately, whirling around as adrenaline pumped through her body. She looked around, eyes wide in fear until she realized that it was just Marinette who was standing behind the bench, mouth open in surprise.

“Oh!” Lila blinked and her grip on her bag grew looser as she saw that she hadn’t been in any danger. 

“Lila? Are you okay?” Marinette hurried over, eyebrows drawn in concern. Lila moved to meet her, ashamed that she’d reacted so wildly. 

“Yea, I’m fine. I just didn’t expect anyone behind me,” She answered quickly, brushing her shorter hair behind her ears.

Marinette’s expression changed to relief.

“I’m sorry,” She apologized immediately, “I won’t do that again in the future.”

Lila smiled in response; Marinette was very responsive to Lila and her reactions, and it always made her happy to see it so.

“It’s all good now. And you look amazing! I love your outfit!” Lila changed the subject, directing the attention to Marinette, who was wearing a cute summery set of clothes. 

“Thanks! I made it last week,” Marinette glanced down at herself, and then back at Lila, “But you look even prettier,”

Lila blushed slightly, a hand going to tuck a stray lock behind her ears. While she liked this haircut a lot, it was a lot easier for her hair to come loose and swing in her face.

“Thank you,” She grinned back, happy to see Marinette again, “I don’t know though, you’re pretty beautiful yourself,”

“Not as much as you!” Marinette stuck out her tongue, and the awkward uncertainty that had been there before was gone. Lila chuckled and shrugged.

“I disagree,” She merely said, “You’re just… you know… perfect! How could I ever beat that?” 

Marinette turned red at that, but acknowledged the challenge. 

“No way! You’re way more perfect than I am!” She said, gently prodding Lila with a pointed finger. 

“Are we going to be here all day?” Tikki suddenly peeked out of Marinette’s purse, an amused expression on her face. Oops.

“Tikki!” Marinette exclaimed in embarrassment.

“By the way, a certain someone forgot to ask Lila how exactly she knew that you were Ladybug,” Tikki continued, raising an eyebrow.

Oh, yeah. She’d never explained to Marinette the how.

“ _ Tikki! _ ” Marinette huffed.

“It’s been literally months, Marinette,” Tikki returned with a teasing eyeroll. Marinette opened her mouth and then closed it, then opened it again and finally closed it again in resignation. 

“Well, a lot was going on,” Lila supplied, pitying her girlfriend.

“Yes.” Marinette nodded, looking a little uncomfortable.

“I’m just a perceptive person, I guess. After lying about so many things, you come to know when other people are hiding things,” Lila said truthfully. “I only suspected it at first, but the first time we hung out and split up, I tried to find you again and couldn’t. In the end, I saw Ladybug come down behind a building, and you come out.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Marinette said quietly, and Lila blinked in surprise. She hadn’t meant to hurt her.

_ It was all her fault, anyway. She did that to you. _

Lila’s eyebrows drew together in alarm, but pushed the voice away.

“It’s not your fault, Mari. None of that would have happened if I hadn’t lied in the first place,” Lila hurried to say.

“I still caused you a lot of pain,” Marinette frowned, looking down. Lila’s face fell the slightest bit, and suddenly she didn’t know what to say.

“It’s fine,” She decided on.

“It’s not, though!” Marinette pushed back. “I was being mean and selfish. You didn’t deserve any of what I did,”

“But I wouldn’t have changed without it,” Lila said firmly, and Marinette sighed, contemplating the words.

_ You didn’t even change at all _ .

“You did what you thought was best,” Tikki added, and Lila nodded in agreement. “Let’s not dwell on the past, Marinette. We’re in the present now, and I know you’ve always made the best of it no matter what. All we can do is move to the future and try to be better.”

Tikki’s words were encouraging, and Marinette made a small smile. Even she lost her confidence once in awhile.

“You’re right,” Marinette agreed, and Lila grinned.

“Let’s go!” Lila took Marinette’s hand and threaded their fingers together, relishing in the familiarity of the action.

_ You’re a disaster waiting to happen. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyy lmao  
> nothing much happens in this chapter, stuff goes down in the next though


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh snap!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has a cool akumasona by chalala-chan. check it out here: http://chalala-chan.tumblr.com/post/143432132116/day-1-akumasonas-chloe-needs-to-calm-down-asap

 

The date had been going exceptionally well. The two girls had gone and shopped at a massive thrift store that Marinette had spoken highly of (yall gotta read The Best Gift in Life by breeeliss btw), and then made their way to a cute little restaurant. It had been fun, fluffy and probably was everything Lila ever wanted in a date. Even the voice had quieted down and said almost nothing throughout the whole thing.

Essentially, it was going  _ too _ well.

Lila was waiting for something to go wrong. The absence of the voice made her nervous even if she was relieved. Not too long ago it had been going on about how something would happen soon. What would happen? The voice had said Lila wouldn’t be able to ignore it for much longer. What would it do to force Lila to pay attention to it?

Maybe it left.

“Lila?” 

Lila snapped back to attention, blinking as she looked at Marinette, who was giving her a concerned look.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, placing a gentle hand on Lila’s, which lay on the side of the table. 

Just as Lila was about to reply, someone screamed. Lila looked to the source of the noise, peering through the window to see what was happening. But to her surprise, the window had a layer of frost on it, and behind the  glass was none other than Chloe Bourgeois made of ice. Blue swirls of energy shot down from the sky, each hitting different civilians and turning them into ice.. With every new ice statue, the temperature dropped.

It was  _ the summer _ .

Marinette stood up immediately, her free hand almost slamming on the table. 

“An akuma!” She exclaimed quietly, eyebrows drawn as she tried to see the villain.

“Go,” Lila said, nodding at Marinette’s fierce expression, “And good luck, Marinette. Be careful!”

“Thanks. I’ll be back,” Marinette smiled, gave Lila’s hand a quick squeeze, and then ran out of the restaurant to find somewhere to transform. 

_ I thought she’d never leave _ .

“Can you just shut up?” Lila curled a hand into a fist and muttered to herself. She’d almost given herself false hope that it was gone, but here it still was, mocking and derisive. The voice laughed, echoing in her thoughts as she pressed her lips together, beginning to get a little irritated.

The laugh moved her mind to outside, and the breath touched her ear again and she whipped her head around, teeth clenched as she looked around. But just like before, no one was there. Lila took a controlled breath as she stood up from the table. Maybe she could just sit in the bathroom or whatever. She didn’t want to just keep sitting here.

_ As if that would do anything _ , the voice sneered and Lila felt her annoyance amp up just that much. She got up anyway, though.

_ I’m not going anywhere, Lila _ , it said gleefully,  _ you can’t get rid of me! _

Lila found the bathroom mercifully empty and she took a stall, closing the door behind her as took a few deep breaths.

“What  _ are  _ you?” She asked, crossing her arms. The voice had gotten to a point where she couldn’t just blame it on puberty or whatever.

It went silent. 

Great. Out of all the times for the voice to stop talking, it picked the one where Lila explicitly asked a question. Lila gripped her arms, trying to calm herself down. She was getting more than annoyed and it was making her tense up.

_ I’m you _ , it finally said.

“No, you’re not!” Lila’s voice rose as she shouted back, and she glanced up in surprise when it echoed loudly in the empty bathroom, and composed herself. “You only appeared a little while ago! Where did you come from and why are you here?”

_ Because of you _ .

Lila blinked in incredulity. Confusion replaced anger.

“What? What are you talking about?” She took a seat on the closed toilet, looking down at her hands as she tried to figure out what was even happening.

_ You took me in and now I am a part of you _ .

Lila’s hand went to her forehead as she furrowed her brows, staring hard at the bathroom door trying to figure out what that meant. She’d taken in plenty of akuma, but that couldn’t be right, because they’d been removed and purified. Furthermore, she wasn’t being transformed into a supervillain and wreaking havoc on Paris.

“No, I didn’t,” Lila said, “Go away,”

But that was futile. 

Then, on both side of her ears-

“Never,” The strange breaths were suddenly on either side of her, disturbingly close and real. Her hands flew up to cover her ears, her heart beginning to pound. But as she looked left and right, nothing was there. 

In the beginning, it had been a mere thought.

Now it was intruding in her reality. Maybe this was all a hallucination.

_ I’m real and I’m a part of you.  _ The voice was back in her brain, back where it was a little easier to ignore.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

***

Sure, Ladybug was a superhero. But her costume wasn’t exactly great at repelling the cold. Outside of the restaurant, Paris had been transformed into a winter wonderland. People-shaped ice blocks dotted the streets, many already covered in a fresh layer of snow. The hot summer had given way to a frigid winter, and the buildings were frosted and the roads iced. She felt the chill in her fingers and toes, but had no time to even shiver as she leaped from rooftop to rooftop in search of the akuma.

From what she’d seen and heard already, the akuma’s name was Glacia and she was essentially turning everything to ice. Especially people. There were plenty of new ice statues all over town, now.

“Freeze!” The akuma’s clear voice suddenly called out, and Ladybug darted left to avoid the blue magic hurtling towards her.

“Is that Elsa?” A different but familiar voice said, and Ladybug glanced behind her to see Chat Noir racing over. Finally.

“My name is Glacia,” The akuma corrected haughtily, skating past them on ice she was created as she moved. She changed her direction, making the ice loop back towards them. She was wearing an icy blue and white skater outfit, with a large snowflake-shaped hairpiece holding up her white bun. 

Ladybug and Chat Noir moved from that building to another, hitting away small chunks of ice that Glacia hurled.

“Any idea where the akuma is?” Chat Noir asked as they ducked behind a chimney.

“I don’t know, her ice skates maybe?” Ladybug shrugged as she rubbed her hands together, trying to get feeling back in them. 

“You know, it’s a little warm out here,” Glacia sang as she skated through the skies, creating massive ice trails that swirled around the buildings and through the roads, like a roller coaster. “Come on out so I can cool you down!”

Ladybug pulled Chat Noir out of the chimney cover so they could move, sensing Glacia had been about to discover them. 

“No thank you!” Chat called out as they ran.

“Don’t give me the cold shoulder,” Glacia pouted, and then threw a bolt of blue magic towards them.

“Gotta admit, she’s got good puns,” Chat Noir said as they narrowly dodged it, “It gives me shivers!”

Ladybug sighed, not particularly in the mood to appreciate Chat’s humor. Not while she had to leave in the middle of a date, and not while she felt herself dying of hypothermia.

“Let’s try to get her ice skates,” She suggested, and they ducked in cover again so she could summon a Lucky Charm.

“Sounds purr-fect,” Chat nodded, and Ladybug threw up her yoyo.

“Lucky Charm!” She called out, and was vaguely unsurprised when a pair of red and black dotted ice skates landed in her hands. 

“Are you going to compete with her or something?” Chat Noir raised an eyebrow. Ladybug shrugged, pulling the covers off of the blades and pulling the skates on. She could probably take the trails that Glacia made herself; the akuma probably wouldn’t suspect it. 

She wasn’t amazing at ice-skating, but Ladybug knew enough to stay on her feet. She hobbled over to the side of the roof, and stepped onto the ice path that was already there. Glacia had moved on, looking for the superheroes elsewhere. 

“Chat, you can distract her while I take this,” Ladybug said, and then she was off. She wobbled a bit before steadying herself, and then she was flying on the ice, skates carving into the frozen surface.

Glacia wasn’t too far, and Ladybug saw her fairly soon. She had moved higher up to above most buildings, looking down in the streets to find the superheroes. Ladybug skated faster, wincing as her feet adjusted to the pain of ice skating. She only had a few minutes to defeat the akuma.

True to her command, Chat Noir had raced ahead, catching Glacia’s attention. This forced the akuma to slow down a bit, taking time to aim at Chat with her magic rather than just skate away. Ladybug was getting closer, and she squinted amongst the snow and frost in the air.

“Why don’t you just chill?” Glacia taunted, hurling shot after shot of ice at Chat Noir, who sprinted across the balconies of an apartment building.

Ladybug threw her arms around Glacia, dragging her down. Unfortunately, Glacia’s ice trail had ended where she was standing, and they both flew off the side. Ladybug hurried, twisting in the air to try and pull off Glacia’s skates as the akuma screamed. She realized that the whole skate was actually attached to the akuma’s tights or whatever, so she settled with grabbed the steel blade and yanking at it.

“Get off me!” Glacia shouted as they spun, falling faster and faster. She struggled, but Ladybug managed to seize a blade. As fast as her cold fingers could allow, she whipped out her yoyo and let go of Glacia, hurling the yoyo towards a building balcony. It wrapped around the iron and pulled her from the fall up and away towards Chat.

“I got the skate!” She wheezed as she landed, grimacing as she did so on the skate blades. She broke  it over her knee.

“Nice!” Chat Noir cheered. He suddenly fell quiet when nothing fluttered out of the broken blade, and Ladybug felt a wave of annoyance crash over her.

“If it wasn’t in there, then where is it?” Ladybug grumbled.

“You’re going to detransform,” Chat Noir suddenly said, not letting that failure dishearten him. 

“Crap, you’re right,” Ladybug rubbed her temple, “I’m sorry, you’ll have to go on without me for a little bit. I promise I’ll be back soon, Chat Noir,”

_ You failed you failed you failed _ .

“You can trust me! She only has one skate on now anyway, so she should be easier to deal with,” He said, confidence unwavering. Ladybug nodded and darted inside the apartment of the balcony as Chat Noir leaped away. The place was empty, thankfully, and with a beep of her earring the transformation fell away.

“You okay, Tikki?” Marinette asked, fishing in her purse for some cookies. She’d taken up a habit of keeping some form of snack in there for moments like these.

“I’m fine,” The kwami said, rubbing a tired eye, “I just need some fuel.” She was curled up on Marinette’s numb hand. Marinette’s other hand grabbed the pack of shortbread cookies from her bag and she tried to tear it open with the one hand, but failed. She had to set Tikki down on the nearby couch so she could open it, and then she placed one of them in front of the kwami.

“Where do you think the akuma is?” Marinette asked tiredly.

“It seems the only other likely object could be her hairpin. She doesn’t have any other actual object on her,” Tikki said between mouthfuls, trying to eat as fast as she could.

“I’ll try that, next,” Marinette said, and sat down on the couch too. She pressed her cold palms to her face, trying to warm them up. She wasn’t dressed for this kind of weather.

“Don’t let this stop you, Marinette. The akuma have been getting stronger and you’ve been doing a good job,” Tikki added, “I know you can defeat her.”

Marinette smiled a little bit, trying not to focus on the fact that this was the first time in awhile that a Lucky Charm had failed her. 

“Thanks, Tikki.”

***

An absurdly long time had passed since winter had fallen, Lila observed. It didn’t normally take Ladybug and Chat Noir so long to defeat an akuma. She’d moved from the bathroom back to the table, and she was getting worried. Everyone in the restaurant seemed similarly on edge; they’d all been sitting here for too long now. It wasn’t safe to go out, but it appeared they were beginning to doubt that Paris would be saved.

_ Maybe she’s finally lost! _ The voice said hopefully. Lila pushed it aside.

“I’m scared,” A small voice suddenly said in the muted chatter, and Lila glanced a few tables away to see a small child of maybe six years seated across from a parent.

“Don’t worry,” The parent said back, “Ladybug and Chat Noir will save us.”

The child got up and moved to the other side of the table so they could hold onto their mother.

“What if they don’t?” The little boy said, frowning, “I’m so cold,”

Lila moved a little closer. Doubting their heroes wouldn’t do the Parisians any good. She wanted to believe Marinette would be okay.

“They will,” She said, kneeling next to the boy. “Ladybug and Chat Noir always save the day. They always have and always will, so that little boys and girls like you can be safe.”

“Really?” He asked, seeming to believe her at least a little bit.

“That’s right! They’ve always saved the day before,” The mother chimed in, nodding gratefully at Lila. 

_ There’s always a first for everything _ , the voice said,  _ I’m sure the day when Ladybug fails will come soon _ .

“I guess you’re right,” He said, and then smiled a little.

Just then a blaze of pink flew past the window, melting the frost on the windows. The snow and ice coating the streets vanished, and all of the victims started to thaw. Their icy appearance gave way to warm flesh and colorful clothes. Lila felt relief and satisfaction course through her as she watched, and then turned back to the boy.

“See?” Lila continued, gesturing to the window as a resounding gasp went through the restaurant, “They always will,” A cheer went up among the people in the building, and many of them got up to leave. 

_ Not always _ , the voice said,  _ not for long _ .

While several customers hurried out, Marinette stumbled in, unnoticed in all the commotion. Lila got up, suddenly worried. Marinette looked exhausted.

“Marinette!”

“Hey Lila,” Marinette mumbled quietly, and Lila threw her arms around the girl, holding her close and feeling her relax visibly in the embrace.

“Are you okay?” She whispered.

“I could be better,” Marinette replied, and Lila hugged her a little tired.

“Do you wanna go?” Lila asked, and Marinette nodded.

“Let’s go to my house,” She suggested.

The two hurried out of the restaurant and were suddenly hit the summer heat. Lila paused, soaking in the warm sunlight.

“Did anything happen?” Lila asked as they stretched under the sun. At that, Marinette deflated a little bit. “Marinette?”

“It took three Lucky Charms to defeat her,” Marinette finally said, looking down. 

“Three?” Lila asked incredulously. That was unheard of. Three Lucky Charms meant three separate transformations. She frowned as she realized what kind of a fight Marinette had had to do. Why were the akuma getting stronger?

“Yea.” Marinette sighed tiredly. She cracked open her purse and Lila looked in to see Tikki curled up and asleep inside. The kwami was out cold.

Wow, Ladybug was weaker than she thought.

Wait.

Lila froze. That thought hadn’t been by the voice. 

She’d heard it in her own inner voice. That thought had been out of place and it didn’t belong.

Not once in all her time knowing about Ladybug had she ever doubted her power. Why was she doubting it now? An uneasy feeling settled in her gut. Something felt dangerously wrong. 

A laugh sounded in her ear and all of a sudden her mouth was moving.

“I didn’t realize how bad of a superhero you are.”


	4. Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is sad

Marinette felt numb. 

She was sitting on her balcony, back against the iron railing. Her fingers were curled around her phone, but she had long since given up expecting a reply. She had considered calling Alya or something, but she felt like telling someone would cement the reality. That maybe if she just waited until tomorrow, it all would have been just a dream.

But even if she could hope that Lila’s words hadn’t happened, the fatigue that clung to her bones remained. She’d never had to use three transformations in one battle, and it was clear that it had had an effect on both her and Tikki. The kwami was still asleep, and Marinette would have done so too had the Lila incident not occurred. 

The scene kept repeating in her mind. Lila’s normal expression melding into a cruel smirk. Her arms folding and chin tilting up. 

It didn’t make any sense. Lila wasn’t like that.

Something must be wrong with her.

Or, Marinette bit her lip, maybe  _ she  _ was just… not good enough. Not good enough to be Ladybug. Not good enough to like Lila.

Marinette didn’t normally struggle with self-doubt. She had friends and family that supported her no matter what. She had succeeded time and time again, saving lives and rescuing citizens. She knew she was great, and that was normally that.

That was that until Lila had given that cruel remark. 

_“What?”_ _Marinette stared, not quite sure if she had heard Lila properly. The corner of Lila’s mouth curled up and her eyes narrowed, and piercing Marinette with a gaze she’d never seen before. It was sinister and menacing and Marinette suddenly felt shame pooling her body. Indignation and guilt and a sense of helpless invaded her mind._

_ “You’re a disappointment,” Lila said, shaking her head gently. Marinette froze in place, watching helplessly as Lila laughed, turned, and walked away _ .

That wasn’t… that wasn’t Lila.

It couldn’t have been. 

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut, gripping her own arms.

Maybe it was.

***

Lila didn’t understand. 

She didn’t get it.

What happened?

It felt like something had shoved her out the way, pushing away Lila Rossi and putting someone else in charge. A whole new torrent of thoughts had filled her mind.

_ She’s useless. She’s terrible. _

_ She’s awful. She doesn’t deserve to be a hero.  _

_ Forget about her. _

Lila shuddered at the memory. They thoughts had been foreign and unknown;  they hadn’t belonged there and yet they had  _ been  _ there. Lila hadn’t been put back in control until they were far away from Marinette, and then Lila didn’t know how she could explain it. What was wrong with her?

_ Amusing _ .

Lila let out an exasperated noise, fist slamming into the bench. It hurt a little bit.

On top of it all, the voice was still there.

“Did you do that?” She hissed angrily. Not too many people were around at the park, so no one heard her.

_ Maybe _ .

Lila bit her lip, wondering how she was supposed to deal with the voice.  _ What  _ was it? 

She suddenly remembered something it had said earlier.  _ You took me in _ . Lila turned those words over in her head, and then pressed her lips together in realization. She’d taken in an akuma before. She’d been akumatized thrice. 

The voice must have had something to do with that. 

A side effect of being akumatized so many times? But it had been purified. Lila had watched Marinette purify it. So why would any part of it be left behind? She didn’t understand and she still felt terrible.

But she had to fix it. She didn’t run away anymore. 

She was going to fix this.

Lila decided to stop by her house, grab a peace offering, and then go to Marinette’s bakery. This wasn’t just something she could solve by texting or messaging Marinette. She had to explain in person. Maybe Tikki would be able to find out what was wrong. 

When Lila opened the apartment door, it was empty. She found a note on the kitchen table, which told Lila that her grandmother had gone out for some groceries. That was alright; Lila just need to find some peace snacks and then leave.

_ Stop _ .

The front door closed behind her as Lila’s walk slowed to a stop.

_ Why are you trying to make up with her? _

“Go away,” Lila said, trying to force her legs to move again. Her knees shook with the struggle.

“I’m a part of you now,” The voice said, and it was in her ears again. Lila stared hard ahead, her mouth turning into a flat line as she listened. “We have to work together.”

“You’re just taking control on me!” Lila exclaimed suddenly, her voice echoing in the empty apartment.

_ But you ignored me for far longer than that _ .

Suddenly, Lila’s struggle ceased. Suddenly, going to Marinette’s house seemed like an awful lot of trouble. Suddenly, Lila didn’t even want to speak to Marinette anymore.

“I should go talk to her,” she said out loud, but there was no confidence nor any firm declaration in that. It was a fact she knew, but it no longer seemed urgent, or even necessary. 

_ Let’s spend some time together, instead. _

Lila stayed.

***

Lila spent the rest of the day in a strange battle. She knew she needed to go make things right. To explain everything to Marinette. To get help before it was too late, because she knew that the voice was doing much more than just saying things to her. It was beginning to control her and alter her will, but her motivation to fight against it kept vanishing and returning. She’d get and walk to the door, but her hand would stop before it touched the knob and fall to her side. 

She’d return to the sofa, and stare down at her fists. 

_ Why can’t I just do this? _

Lila knew she’d said this was something she had to do in person but it didn’t seem like she’d be able to leave anytime soon. She fished out her phone. Lila knew something was very, very wrong with her and if she couldn’t tell Marinette to her face then she may as well try to text her. She needed help and she needed it soon.

She had typed out three letters when her hand suddenly seized up, finger hitting the send button before she finished the message. Lila winced internally, watching as the message  _ mar  _ was sent.

_ What are you up to?  _ The voice said in a mocking tone. 

“Why don’t you want to talk to her?” Lila whispered quietly. Her nonna had returned and was reading a book at the kitchen table, and Lila didn’t want to alert her to her problem. She wouldn’t really understand. 

Her phone buzzed.

_ Mari: lila?! what’s wrong? _

Lila stared at the words with wide eyes. Even after she’d said that to Marinette… She bit her lip, and then with renewed vigor, moved to type.

A searing pain suddenly struck through her arm and she gasped in surprise, her fingers coming to a stop. She’d typed out ‘something is’ but that was it, and she gritted her teeth.

_ That’s a no-no. We don’t want anyone coming between us now, do we? _

Lila’s arm shook, but she took a deep breath, calming herself. 

This was something dangerous. And it was most likely something magical.

She needed to tell Marinette.

In a sudden burst of movement she began to swipe on the keyboard, her other hand clutching at her head as another pain began to take root in there. 

_ Something is controlling me, please hel- _

Lila’s hand froze in place, a cramp-like pain forcing her to stop. Suddenly it began to move again, and she watched in horror as her thumb pressed on the backspace, erasing her message.

_ Lila: nothing’s wrong, i’m fine, go away _

And then she dropped the phone on her lab, and no amount of effort could make her pick it back up.

A lump began to grow in Lila’s throat. This was horrible.

***

“These are dark times, master,” Wayzz said grimly, glancing at the television. He’d been noticing the unnatural increase in akuma attacks, and was worried by how long the battles were coming to be.

“It may be time to take out more miraculouses,” Master Fu agreed, sending a look at the box that housed all the magical jewelry. Four pieces were already gone, but they still had the bee and the fox miraculous.

And the turtle, Fu remembered, looking down at his wrist.

“Nooroo…” Wayzz trailed off for a second. “It’s strange. Even after the akuma has been defeated, I still feel a lingering sense of his magic. It’s a dark magic, definitely, but there’s more evil than just the akuma out there.”

“That is worrying, indeed.” Fu wrinkled his brow at the news. What else could Hawkmoth be possibly doing with Nooroo’s magic?

Just then a knock sounded at the door. Wayzz would have ducked behind a vase, but he could sense another kwami presence nearby.

This was most likely Ladybug or Chat Noir. 

“Come in,” Fu called, softening his voice and schooling his face. The door swung open, and standing in the frame was an exhausted Adrien Agreste with a crestfallen expression. “Hello, Chat Noir.”

Adrien shuffled in slowly, his head tilted down. Wayzz gently closed it behind him, and it shut with a quiet click. They hadn’t had many meetings with Adrien yet, only one or two.

“Hello,” Adrien murmured back, before finally sinking down to a sitting position. Plagg was actually asleep in his hands. Wayzz and Fu exchanged looks. If anything, the state of Adrien and his kwami were a big indicator that the akuma were getting to be tougher than before. 

“I’ll get some tea,” Fu said, and then moved to the corner of the room before gently patting Adrien’s shoulder. He guessed that the boy would just begin to talk when he was ready, and quietly got some tea ready.

“We need help,” Adrien suddenly said, and Fu set the kettle down. “Ladybug and I, we can’t do this ourselves anymore. She had to transform three times for  _ one  _ akuma. And I was barely any help myself.”

Fu snuck a look at his face. Adrien looked disappointed and upset, and his fingers curled around Plagg, who snored away in his palm.

“Ladybug looked so tired at the end,” He said, “I was exhausted. We  _ need  _ help.” With his last sentence, he sent Master Fu a pleading look.

“I understand,” Fu returned, setting a cup down in front of Adrien, “I will get you some help.”

“Okay,” Adrien whispered, not touching the tea just yet. He fell silent again, and Fu took a moment to drink some of his own cup of tea.

“Is there anyway to become stronger?” Adrien asked, breaking the silence, and then his lip began to tremble. “I  _ can’t  _ do this the way I am. My father expects so much of me. Everyone expects so much as me. I can’t fail as Chat Noir.”

Fu was harshly reminded of himself in the past. Trying everything to become stronger. To become a better protector. A better guardian.

“There is a way,” Fu said quietly, and Adrien’s head shot up, “But there  _ is  _ a great cost. You will suffer severe exhaustion and lose years off of your life.”

Adrien’s frown grew deeper.

“But if I can’t protect Paris… if I can’t protect my friends or my family…” He started, and then sighed, blinking rapidly. Fu realized he was on the brink of tears, and moved over to put an arm around his shoulder. It hurt his heart to hear how selfless the boy was. 

“Look, Adrien. You will soon have allies; I promise. And I am not the one to ask about this power. You will have to talk to Plagg yourself; it is  _ his  _ power, after all. But I warn that you  _ not  _ take this power unless absolutely necessary. You must rely on yourself and your allies long before you need that power. It is a dangerous thing that can cause great harm. Do you understand?”

Sniffling, Adrien nodded, pressing his free hand to his eyes, wiping away tears that had welled up. Everything was getting to him. He already had a stressful life, and the burden of Chat Noir was a heavy one to bear.

Wayzz, who had left a few minutes ago, suddenly returned with a small chunk of cheese. Fu made a small smiled; he knew exactly what it was and who it was for.

Plagg suddenly twitched in Adrien’s hands, and slowly sat up, taking in the scent of the camembert.

“Is that my love that I smell?” He asked tiredly, looking around.

“Of course,” Wayzz laughed, gently setting the slice down in Adrien’s hand.

“Oh goody,” Plagg returned, rubbing his cheek against the dairy product. Adrien chuckled at the sight, and Plagg smiled.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Adrien whispered softly, surprising Plagg.

“Woah there,” The kwami said after a moment, “Don’t get all cheesy on me now.” Adrien laughed again.

Fu watched the interaction fondly.

He’d made a good choice with these two, he knew.

And he’d make a good choice with the fox and the bee, too.


End file.
